In case your wondering…

Added to the post below…

 

 

If any of you read my other blog post you will see I am  not the type of person to write something I don’t believe in… so take the below post and the post before this for what its worth… I am not a person who blogs about religious things but these post are not “religion” they are my heart… read and enjoy…or  read and hate… either way… know that this is me…this is my heart…this is my life… :)

Harder than the First time… This song means so much to me because for YEARS I only felt I knew the God or Jesus my father told me about and no matter what I felt it was not my own thoughts, it was, something I was told and believed in. Just like how you believe the color red is red because someone told you enough times as a child… Well now I have stepped away from that and found out who Jesus is ON MY OWN without relying on what others have said or taught me, but on MY OWN!!! Its an AMAZING feeling, to know GOD is MY God and not only the God my Dad told me about but the God I found on my own as well!!! :)

How am I doing??

A few people have asked how I am these days… well these next 2 songs about sum it up in words I couldn’t…. they are in order of how I have been doing.. of course the last is … well my last 6 months or so!!! Not that I wont ever return to the “person”in the first song but I think its the realization of the second and first combined that make the difference. It may mean NOTHING to you but it means the WORLD to me :)

 

Barlow Girl

On My Own lyrics

I can't believe that I"m here in this place again
How did I manage to mess up one more time?
This pattern seems to be the story of my life
Should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time
'Cause I promise myself I wouldn't fall
But here I've fallen
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You
Oh God You have to save me
You're my last and only hope
All my right answers fail me
I can't seem to make it on my own
I always thought that I would be strong enough
What made all of them fall couldn't take me down
Yeah, did I think that I was above it all
I have learned that pride comes before the fall
I can't promise that I won't fall
'Cause here I've fallen
I know I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You

 

 

 

Harder Than The First Time lyrics
I walked with you
Just like we've done for so long
You seem so near
But even that's become so common It's not just You, just been together so long
That I thought I knew everything about You
But today I saw
Did You open up my eyes?
'Cause I feel like I've just seen You for the first time
I didn't see You
But God I want to
You've come alive
And I think I've fallen harder than the first time
Was I so blind?
How did I not see You?
Yet in that time You never left my side
So far all my life I will live to know You
So here I am, I'll take Your hand
I see Your face
I feel You close
The love You've always shown me
Won't miss it now can't waste a day
Jesus I'm Yours completely

People who use….

First let me say, if I wrote to much for you to read, please, at least scroll to the bottom and check out the last paragraph!!)

So, for years I have allowed myself to become.. well.. a doormat to some. Friends, family, strangers…. I have always been there to help anyone at anytime. Obviously that’s why I became a police officer, I do enjoy helping others. But choosing to help someone is a lot different than being expected to and used for your kindness. I guess I have just reached a point in my life ,that in my relationships (relationships = friends, family,work..) I am going to be giving what I get. This does not mean I wont go above and beyond on a task I am given it just means emotionally. I know this sounds mean but it really is not. If you have a friend who is always calling for favors but never talks to you any other time would you still put effort into this kind of relationship? Now what if its family? Does it really make a difference? Now I am not saying my family is calling me or using me I am just saying in general :)

You can only open your heart to some people and care for them so much only to be “forgotten” whenever things are going well in their life or when they just don’t need anything. ( I don’t know how God does this daily, but I am grateful he not only can but does!!) I think I try hard to keep in contact with those I am close to. I try to regularly call or at least send an email. I may not get to talk to some of my family or friends due to schedules being different, but I do put the effort in, and most do the same for me.

That's really all that matters I think. Its the effort. For some one to show that the relationship is not one-sided. I can have friends I don’t talk to for MONTHS but we still try to talk and just miss calls, or whatever, but when we do talk its MEANINGFUL and not just take take take.

This new view on life is not a “changed Lindsy” I am still the same happy bubbly person I have been, and will always be. :) I am just now, at 30, learning to set boundaries, for myself and others towards me. I can’t always be the one to help you in your time of , well what some call, need. I am not going to feel guilty anymore if I can’t help everyone. I have learned that for years I have always thought NO was a selfish word and now I know it is not. I have also come to see that constantly saying yes and things of that sort can be damaging to the person you think you are helping. In life we do have to reap what we sow and many of us become enablers to protect those close to us. When in fact, we are not helping them at all but allowing them to continue in their path with little to no consequences for what they do. Then those of us who are “enablers” now have taken on the persons problems while they walk away scot free and content until their next issue.

Now let me explain that I am not trying to be all high and mighty, I am not in any way saying I have NEVER acted like a “user” before. I have been there done that myself in my life. (most teens are this way by nature) But there is a point in our lives we have to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves. Also if there is anyone I know who reads this, I don’t who does or doesn’t, that feels like this is a stab towards them… well it is NOT. This is not in any way towards anyone or any situation in particular. Its a new general path I am taking. But also at the same point, if this blog does bother someone, maybe… just maybe… you should check your intentions, I’m not saying if it bothers only people I know but if ANYONE reads this and feels “moved” then maybe its time for you to stop being the user or stop being used :)

If you want to know more about this or are interested in what I am saying please please check out the book called Boundaries!!!Click on HERE to see a excerpt of it and if you do PLEASE scroll through to page 27.. READ IT!!! Read 27-28 its one SHORT story and will explain things in a way I can’t!! This book is AMAZING And if anyone has boundaries issues like I do its a must have. Even if you think you don’t have issues.. just wait till you read page 27-28 and you will see… most of us do have these issues!!

Really….. I mean really????

Elijah and I had an amazing weekend last week, went to all these different places and so forth…

Well during our trip we ended up going to the Marines base at Cherry Point, NC. While we were there we stopped at the local exchange (like a department store), where everything is cheaper and no tax.

Anyways, while shopping around, I was just SO excited to find some USMC shirts, I wondered into the men’s clothing looking for Elijah and saw these flip flops!!!

 

I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn’t, they had more than one pair like this… are they seriously selling mixed matched, hot pink and baby blue flip flops for guys?? Really?? Is it just me or is it even more hilarious that that they are selling these on a Marine base?? HAHAHA

Very awkward….

I saw this on someone's MySpace comments… I get the meaning behind it, I think, I hope they did not mean to make it insestual  but who knows anymore, it sure sounds weird… LOL  Just thought I would share it with my blogging world :)

(comment below)

 

I just kissed you.
Click here to kiss me back!

no matter how many boyfriends you have, yo brotha is still the best

Stupid People..

So I am really thinking we are becoming more and more like the movie Idiocracy everyday!!!

Can someone PLEASE explain to me WHY a truck needs a spoiler on its roof?? Does this person really think they are going to be going SO darn fast that they need a arrow dynamic wing to stabilize their vehicle?? REALLY?? HAHHA And on TOP of its camper top?? What the heck is going on here?? I am still trying to understand the fad of BIG wheels on regular cars and now we have THIS to understand too!?!?!?!

Really Wal-Mart???

So, I was grocery shopping at Wal-Mart yesterday and noticed something silly. Have you seen the SAVE even more sticker/flappers over the regular priced items?? Well be sure to lift those up and see WHAT the price was BEFORE!!! I have noticed this before but never took pictures till now!! LOL Not always, but some of them are just advertising the REGULAR price but make you think its a deal or they have RAISED the price but you see a SALE tag and pay no attention. Below are pictures of Shelton Vineyards wine “on sale” (If you are reading this from FB there are no pictures, go to http://lindsy1979.blogspot.com/ to see what I mean)